The Hallway of Hell

"Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing,

that we see too late the one that is open."

Alexander Graham Bell1847-1922, Inventor

Every morning, beginning at 7am, my inbox starts chiming with new and inspirational ideas from various sources. Today, the above quote resonated with me, and I felt compelled to share my personal perspective with it in case it might strike a similar chord with you.

I clearly recall investing many emotions and thoughts over the past five years in my first marriage. Analysing, sorting, stewing, regurgitating...all in effort to keep me connected to a past life. Efforts, you can be sure, which ended with nothing gained but a sense of negative intimacy and intuitive insanity. Perhaps this was a necessary ritual designed to help me through my grief and the insurmountable burden of guilt that I felt for altering the lives of my husband and children. I had made a choice that hurt the people closest to me, and the emotions, constant turmoil, and effort to digest them seemed to be a logical penance.

Was it any wonder that my present life began to lose meaning... The daily joy of waking up to a new day, the relationships that surrounded me, my sense of self...all of these things faded into an obscure and haunting shadow. It followed me everywhere and reminded me constantly of the contrast between where I was at that moment (focused intently on the closing door) and of where I should be aiming my sights (at the open door in front of me). I was in the hallway of hell.

My decision to shift my focus came after many years. Although I could always carry on with the daily routines of life, it wasn't until I made the vast and intentional shift to focus on the road ahead instead of staring intently into the rear view mirror that I felt my life change. I could breath again. I could see details instead of blurs. Sounds became clearer and now, after awaking to the life I choose to live, I welcome the anticipation of change and new experiences.

The hallway of hell seems to be a necessary rest-stop on our journey through separation and divorce. How long we choose to stay there is entirely up to us.

Staying Married For The Kids

This article is from http://www.selfgrowthtest.com
Marriage

Don't Stay in a Broken Marriage "For the Children"

By Jonathan Huie

Mar 15, 2009

If you are clear that you are miserable in your relationship, don't procrastinate on getting a divorce "for the sake of the children." While some experts would argue that having one parent move out of the home increases the stress on young children, consider the likelihood that the benefit of no longer seeing Mommy and Daddy fighting far outweighs any negative effects. The premise for the remainder of this article is that you have already explored all avenues for rebuilding an empowering relationship with your spouse - you have talked, you have had counseling, you have contemplated your future.

Having determined that a happy relationship is no longer possible, you are considering remaining in your unhappy marriage "for the sake of the children."

Don't do it. Here's why:

1. While growing up with two happy parents who love each other is probably the ideal nurturing environment for children, living with one happy parent is far better than living with two people who are unhappy and hate each other.

2. However noble your intentions, you are not going to be able to fake happiness for long. Your children will recognize your unhappiness almost at once, and that will cause them great suffering.

3. While you and your spouse may make an agreement never to argue or treat each other badly in front of the children, you will not be able to keep such an agreement. You will exchange icy stares, unkind words, and sarcasm - if not worse - in spite of your resolve and idealism.

4. Your own well-being does matter, don't discount the importance of your own happiness. Martyrdom is highly over-rated. There is no special place in heaven for those who suffer for no good reason. Don't let guilt - which is also highly over-rated - cause you to make a decision that will certainly cause misery for both yourself and your children.

5. It is your decision - and you are responsible only to yourself in making this decision. Don't be bullied by your partner, parents, relatives, friends, or church. They may have some so-called "moral" position, but the only important factors to consider in making this decision are your children's well-being and your own.

Author's Bio
Visit Jonathan's Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote blog, and sign-up for his daily email.Jonathan Lockwood Huie is an author of self-awareness books, and has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life.** Today is your day to dance lightly with life. It really is. - jonathan lockwood huie **© Copyright by SelfGrowth.com, Self Improvement Online, Inc.

David After the Divorce

For fans of You Tube's hit video entitled, "David After the Dentist" ... Here's a more relevant version ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxFB5RDmBIA