Finding Your Yellow Brick Road

by Debbie Ford

I hope this finds your heart happy and your life plentiful.

In times of tumultuous change and emotional upheaval, all of us dive into the place of uncertainty, not knowing where we are going to land or what our future reality will be. We look for certainty but in the midst of heartbreaking conditions like a breakup, a divorce or even the loss of a career, we don't know where we'll end up by the time the storm blows over. Like the scene in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy emerges from her house after the tornado, we might be asking, "Where am I?" And in the darkness of our smallest thoughts, we hear, " Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore."

Shocked and feeling alone, we go on endless tailspins which keep leaving us with the same sad feelings. Dramatic change leaves us searching for solid ground and when we can't find any, the only option is to step into the sacred foundation of the Law of Acceptance.

In my book Spiritual Divorce, the first Spiritual Law of divorce and healing - The Law of Acceptance - states that everything is as it should be. Nothing occurs by accident and there are no coincidences. Breathe that in and read it over again. Everything is as it should be. Nothing occurs by accident and there are no coincidences. It goes on to say that we are always evolving whether we are aware of it or not and our lives are divinely designed for each one of us to get exactly what we need to support our own unique evolutionary process (even when we can't see it). I can promise you that this is a fact.

After years of coaching thousands of people to find the gift in their "negative" experiences, what continues to be the highest truth is this: our deepest pain leads us to our greatest purpose. When we embrace the Law of Acceptance, we open our eyes to new opportunities and new perspectives. Knowing that everything is as it should be makes the path in front of us much easier to recognize.

When we are willing to get the support we need, give up the self we know, and reinvent ourselves in order to step into the next highest evolution of our soul's journey, we can, like Dorothy, have faith and follow the yellow brick road. Even though we are not in Kansas anymore we will arrive at the perfect place for our next great adventure to unfold where we will find more love, more success and more happiness than we ever imagined possible.

Signs of Authentic INTUITION

by Lynn Scheurell

Intuition is the quiet inner voice or feeling that consistently guides us toward being and doing our best in every moment. So how do we know that voice or feeling is truly authentic? That it belongs to us? That we are getting the “right” information? Here are 10 indicators to help you know your authentic intuition. GenEXer's...take note of indicator #6!

1. Intuition is a whisper—not a shout. True intuition will not compete to be heard—it simply is. It is a feeling, a nuance, an inkling, a subtle knowingness that is always accessible but not always acknowledged. The speed of life has a lot to do with your ability to understand and work with your inner wisdom. Chances are that if your intuition is shouting at you, it is time to acknowledge that that light really is the oncoming train.

2. There is a sense of calmness and certainty in the intuitive awareness. While it is not always easy to trust intuition at first (mostly because that is not a generally accepted practice of socialization in our formative years), there is a feeling of confidence in the intuitive insight. Authentic intuition just feels right when it is.

3. Your body experiences “breathing” in all ways. When we are in a state of fear, stress, confusion, or indecision, our bodies are tight, our breathing is shallow, and we can be distracted. Experiencing our authentic intuition leads to a release of that heavy or constricted sensation. When our intuition gives us the information or answer that is needed, we feel a particular lightness, a freshness, a sense of breathing again—literally.

4. It seems like your “life glass” just got cleaned. The world is brighter and cleaner, shapes are sharper, even smells seem sweeter. Your intuitive insight has gifted you with clarity; the distractions to appreciating your world are gone. Your vision and your senses are connected again to the world outside of you due to your intuitive direction. If you suddenly notice that your spring cleaning never did get sprung, you know you have had a solid intuitive connection. (So that is the upside of noticing housework. . . .)

5. The solution feels easy and natural. When your intuition gives you a genuine answer, there is a gentle and relaxed energy. This guidance can feel like permission or maybe even forgiveness. The insight is personal, and you know it to be true like you know being your own gender—completely natural and in sync with who you are at your essence. When it is authentic intuition, the message is effortlessly just for you.

6. True intuition will not harm you (or anyone else, for that matter!). Your inner wisdom is a compass guiding you toward what is in your best interest at all times. It is impossible for authentic intuition to share space with negativity or malicious intention. Intuition serves only your best and highest good. Your intuition may direct you to do something that you may not want to do but that is ultimately helping you. For example, it may be time to release a relationship, which may hurt either party, but overall, it is a disservice to prolong a relationship that has served its purpose. The healthy cycle of life (birth, living, dying) is inherent in every part of life and is inexorably linked with every phase of our lives—including intuition. The bottom line is that bad things do not come from good intuition!

7. The intuitive insight conveys creativity in being. Sometimes intuition is baffling in what it communicates, which could be a symptom of not knowing your internal intuitive language, or it could be that you are not quite ready to assimilate that information. Intuition is amazingly creative and yet perfectly simple. If something pops in seemingly from out of nowhere but addresses exactly what is needed in a kind, gracious, undiluted, and perhaps unfamiliar way, it is a message to be taken seriously.

8. Authentic intuition speaks in repetition. Intuition often shows up as consistent messages, such as hearing a word or phrase, seeing it in a magazine, then passing a picture of it on a billboard. There are no coincidences, only synchronicities. Many intuitive insights appear in dreams, where our conscious minds cannot censor the messages. Intuition will pass if you do not listen as it has no enforceable interest in being heard. Additionally, exercising free will in making choices overrides even the best intuition. However, if something shows up often for you, it is time to take notice. If you ignore an important intuitive message, it will show up again bigger and louder until you cannot miss it. (Much like the movie Groundhog Day, it is a do-over until you get it right!)

9. There is a sense of “flow” opening up in other ways. The purpose of authentic intuition is to help pull you forward in being your best. It creates space for your life to move in a dynamic, positive way. Things will start lining up easily and effortlessly. There is a new sense of open energy, ready to receive what is being attracted to you. Authentic intuition is to your life what water is to an ocean—it is an integral, changing element that creates, reinvents, and connects all parts of itself by being and “flowing.” When intuition is flowing, it is likely that your life is too.

10. Manifestation blooms around you. We are the creators of our life experiences. Intuition is a vital tool that illuminates all that is available to us in our relationships between our inner and outer worlds. Authentic intuition helps us to distill the bigger picture into something meaningful and accessible in our everyday lives. As a conscious creation instrument, intuition helps us manifest what we need and desire; upon connecting with authentic inner wisdom, you will know the power when you see (and acknowledge) the richness of what is manifesting around you.

What to Do When You “Get” Your Intuitive Signs

This is truly the greatest place for actively participating in the positive change choices that are possible and opening in your life—it is the awareness of the messages that are meant just for you. When your intuition is authentically speaking to you, and you hear it (or see it, feel it, know it, etc.), it is the time when you get to make a choice from your full knowingness. This choice will be demonstrated through your thoughts, words, actions, behavior, and therefore your results. It is not generally a question of right or wrong choice because each individual choice point that you make from your intuition takes you down a different path. For example, when it is a choice between eating cake or a salad, your intuition will tell you what is better for you in the moment—and it could be either one, depending on what is happening in your life! If your best choice is cake, you will have one path, and if your best choice is salad, it is simply a different path, neither being likely to hurt you in the moment. However, you must exercise free will to follow the recommendation of your intuition. Additionally, over time, if you extend your journey on each of these paths, the result will be a very different experience (and one of them likely will result in love handles!). The most important action you can take when you are in awareness of your intuition is to acknowledge and honor it. If you suppress, avoid, or reject it, you are setting up a process by which you are not only hiding from yourself, but you become unable to trust your own inner wisdom. When that happens, you may feel indecisive, disconnected, empty, or even lost, like you do not recognize yourself and do not know how to “come home.”

So what happens if you miss, or do not “get,” your intuitive signs? Worse, what if you think you do not have any? In this case, relax—your intuition is always with you. It is a part of the fabric of who you are, and when you want to access that part of yourself, it is waiting for you. If it has been a while since you honored your inner guidance, you will have to relearn its language. You may have to take a little extra time and create a quiet space to slow down to the speed of your inner self, but like all your other natural body parts, trust that your inner guide is always there for you. Learning to appreciate and act from your intuition is a process. It takes practice, patience, and presence with your own inner guidance. Slow down to be aware of your inner voice as it is expressing itself right now—it is well worth the investment.

** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways3.html

Reasons for Divorce

by Brette McWhorter Sember, JD

There are many reasons people consider divorce. One of the most common situations is that the two people have grown apart. Sometimes this can happen gently and calmly. Other times it is associated with a lot of resentment, anger, and hurt. Fighting is the biggest reason people say they want a divorce. People fight for many reasons -- a different life view, parenting disagreements, money, wanting different things, or even individual changes. Some marriages include mental, emotional, or physical abuse, which can be a dangerous situation for everyone involved. Living in a home where there is anger and blame is not usually a comfortable situation.

It's possible to reconnect if you've become strangers to each other or to find ways to solve some of the things you disagree about. Marriage therapy can be helpful in getting to the root of what you fight about and in helping you find new ways to relate to each other.

Adultery is usually considered a common reason for divorce, but in most cases, adultery happens when there is something wrong in the marriage. That is not to say the person who has been cheated on is at fault; however, there is often a breakdown of the relationship (or at least a breakdown from one person's point of view) when one spouse chooses to go outside the marriage. Adultery causes major trust issues that may be able to be addressed in therapy if you want to save the marriage. Many couples do manage to repair their marriage after an affair.

Money is another big factor in divorce. Couples fight about money more than anything else. If you and your spouse have differing ideas about how to use money (save versus spend), it can create a huge rift in your marriage. Additionally, couples in financial trouble often find that they lash out at each other because the stress of money problems can really disrupt a relationship. Financial and marriage counseling can both be useful in this kind of situation.

Substance abuse is a situation that can easily harm a marriage. If one partner is not in control of himself, it is nearly impossible to have a real and healthy relationship. Substance-abuse treatment can be the first step to repairing the marriage. Trust can be rebuilt once recovery is begun.

How to Decide
Deciding whether or not you want a divorce is one of the hardest decisions you will ever make. No matter what kind of a state your marriage is in right now, there was likely a time when you loved your spouse. Those feelings don't go away quickly or easily. In fact, even if you do decide you want a divorce, there will likely be times when you question what you're doing, long for your spouse, miss the good times, and possibly even try again. Some people even continue to love (in a different way) their ex after a divorce, even though they have decided they cannot be married to each other.

Ups and Downs

The road to divorce is a long one, and, for many people, it is not a straight path. From the time you first start considering divorce to the point of a final Divorce Decree (should you reach that conclusion), you'll probably change your mind a hundred times. This is normal. No matter what your marriage is like, it is nearly impossible to suddenly turn around and decide it is over without looking back. The most important thing you need to do throughout this process is to give yourself time to work through it and be patient with yourself. Divorce is a process in many ways -- legally and emotionally. It simply takes time to make the decision and move through the various steps. Many people go through this roller-coaster ride and eventually reach a turning point where they know for certain that divorce is the answer -- or decide that it isn't.

Things to Consider

No one can decide for you whether a divorce is the right option for you. When thinking about divorce, you should consider what your marriage is like now and how, or if, it could be fixed. Think about how your marriage and spouse make you feel and how you would feel if you were no longer married.

Excerpted from The Complete Divorce Handbook (Sterling, 2009) by Brette McWhorter Sember, JD.

The Hallway of Hell

"Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing,

that we see too late the one that is open."

Alexander Graham Bell1847-1922, Inventor

Every morning, beginning at 7am, my inbox starts chiming with new and inspirational ideas from various sources. Today, the above quote resonated with me, and I felt compelled to share my personal perspective with it in case it might strike a similar chord with you.

I clearly recall investing many emotions and thoughts over the past five years in my first marriage. Analysing, sorting, stewing, regurgitating...all in effort to keep me connected to a past life. Efforts, you can be sure, which ended with nothing gained but a sense of negative intimacy and intuitive insanity. Perhaps this was a necessary ritual designed to help me through my grief and the insurmountable burden of guilt that I felt for altering the lives of my husband and children. I had made a choice that hurt the people closest to me, and the emotions, constant turmoil, and effort to digest them seemed to be a logical penance.

Was it any wonder that my present life began to lose meaning... The daily joy of waking up to a new day, the relationships that surrounded me, my sense of self...all of these things faded into an obscure and haunting shadow. It followed me everywhere and reminded me constantly of the contrast between where I was at that moment (focused intently on the closing door) and of where I should be aiming my sights (at the open door in front of me). I was in the hallway of hell.

My decision to shift my focus came after many years. Although I could always carry on with the daily routines of life, it wasn't until I made the vast and intentional shift to focus on the road ahead instead of staring intently into the rear view mirror that I felt my life change. I could breath again. I could see details instead of blurs. Sounds became clearer and now, after awaking to the life I choose to live, I welcome the anticipation of change and new experiences.

The hallway of hell seems to be a necessary rest-stop on our journey through separation and divorce. How long we choose to stay there is entirely up to us.

Staying Married For The Kids

This article is from http://www.selfgrowthtest.com
Marriage

Don't Stay in a Broken Marriage "For the Children"

By Jonathan Huie

Mar 15, 2009

If you are clear that you are miserable in your relationship, don't procrastinate on getting a divorce "for the sake of the children." While some experts would argue that having one parent move out of the home increases the stress on young children, consider the likelihood that the benefit of no longer seeing Mommy and Daddy fighting far outweighs any negative effects. The premise for the remainder of this article is that you have already explored all avenues for rebuilding an empowering relationship with your spouse - you have talked, you have had counseling, you have contemplated your future.

Having determined that a happy relationship is no longer possible, you are considering remaining in your unhappy marriage "for the sake of the children."

Don't do it. Here's why:

1. While growing up with two happy parents who love each other is probably the ideal nurturing environment for children, living with one happy parent is far better than living with two people who are unhappy and hate each other.

2. However noble your intentions, you are not going to be able to fake happiness for long. Your children will recognize your unhappiness almost at once, and that will cause them great suffering.

3. While you and your spouse may make an agreement never to argue or treat each other badly in front of the children, you will not be able to keep such an agreement. You will exchange icy stares, unkind words, and sarcasm - if not worse - in spite of your resolve and idealism.

4. Your own well-being does matter, don't discount the importance of your own happiness. Martyrdom is highly over-rated. There is no special place in heaven for those who suffer for no good reason. Don't let guilt - which is also highly over-rated - cause you to make a decision that will certainly cause misery for both yourself and your children.

5. It is your decision - and you are responsible only to yourself in making this decision. Don't be bullied by your partner, parents, relatives, friends, or church. They may have some so-called "moral" position, but the only important factors to consider in making this decision are your children's well-being and your own.

Author's Bio
Visit Jonathan's Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote blog, and sign-up for his daily email.Jonathan Lockwood Huie is an author of self-awareness books, and has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life.** Today is your day to dance lightly with life. It really is. - jonathan lockwood huie **© Copyright by SelfGrowth.com, Self Improvement Online, Inc.

David After the Divorce

For fans of You Tube's hit video entitled, "David After the Dentist" ... Here's a more relevant version ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxFB5RDmBIA

Fairway Divorce Solutions

To anyone out there who has been faced with the frustration of trying to balance what's fair with what's financially and personally prudent, please check out the link for Fairway Divorce Solutions. It is a shame that we don't have the opportunity to utilize a service like this in our city or province, but perhaps with the demands of couples and families such as ours, we can reshape the face of divorce and provide the same level of quality and compassion to others who will inevitably be in our shoes one day.

I am familiar with this organization in principle only, so if anyone has had any personal experience with an alternative dispute resolution firm such as this one, I'm sure we'd all benefit from hearing about it!

Therefore, We Are Saved...

"Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,

Therefore, we are saved by hope.

Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;

Therefore, we are saved by faith.

Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.

Therefore, we are saved by love.

No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;

Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness."

Reinhold Nieb